Finding Your Potential Through Others

Finding friends that make you truly happy is difficult. You should be able to appreciate the fact that they make you happy but should also be able to be happy by yourself, encouraging independent happiness so that it doesn’t put pressure on the relationship, causing potential issues in the future.

When things start to go your way, its easy to run away with your feelings (whether positive or negative). A relationship or friendship should be balanced and reassuring but not take centre-stage in your decisions. It should be there as a sense of security but never rule the decisions you make.

Friends can be found everywhere, school, work, University and more. They can all have such a big impact on decisions we make that can shape the people we perceive ourselves to be. This is why it’s important to have different friends from different groups. All friends should be supportive and shouldn’t judge decisions you make, but other personality traits can differ between different friendships.

Friends who are like you are great at showing yourself the kind of person that you can be. Allowing yourself to have similarities with someone and not clashing is difficult, but definitely achievable. You’ll be interested in what they’re doing because it interests you too.

A mix of fun friends who are different to you can be so healthy. It provides a balance of opinions and offers alternative solutions to everyday problem solving. This range of perspective can build a bigger picture and can help you discover new things you love.

A friend that goes way back can help you see how far you’ve come. The adventures and memories you’ve shared can motivate you to keep going and can prove a healthy relationship as its been alongside you for years. People and their relationships often change over time, but this isn’t always a problem. It shows maturity and an ability to adapt to changes someones making, whether you agree or not. You’ll be there for them and they are there for you, revealing a huge sense of reliability and self worth within you both.

Friendships in family are some of the greatest treasures. They have been with you from the start and know you sometimes the same as you know yourself. Family are the start of everything I do, they are the reason i’m here and I want to make them proud. They drive me to make my life worthy and something to be proud of. Their care for me is reflected straight back to them. I am so grateful for them, for shaping me into the person I am and for giving me the tools to discover what I would like to achieve and discover in life and love.

Being you for you and your friends. Surround yourself with people who allow you to be the best version of yourself.

  • Fun
  • Honest
  • Funny
  • Silly
  • Trustworthy
  • Balanced

These are the values of a friend that I personally find express myself most truly. They allow me to be myself with the security of balanced love surrounding the friendship.

My Passion for Passion- Songwriting.

My individual passion drives my creativity and motivates most of my decisions.

Places inspire my passion, I fall in love with places and the stories or memories they hold.

I believe passion holds so much importance, it allows everyones personality to be expressed within something they care about- creative or not.

My main passion is music. I have always loved music, from a very young age. Like most people my music taste is often determined my current situations or my mood.

My passion for music recently transitioned into songwriting. When things in my life change, whether good or bad, I often write music to try and comprehend the change that has occurred. The lyrics are my favourite part of the process. I can take the lyrics wherever I like. I’ve written songs in different countries as my thoughts are always with me. It’s like an artistic diary of my thoughts that i can share with people. All I want, within my music, is for people to relate to my music and feel something for my music. I don’t mind if I don’t have a lot of listeners, all that is important is if only one person enjoys it and it means a lot to just one person, my work has been worth it.

My Songs:

‘Down to You’ was the first song I released. Although it wasn’t the first song I had written, it was the first one I deemed ‘good enough’ to release and share with people I know.

The song explores idilic and possibly naive perspectives on love. Sometimes things don’t work out and you can’t work them out either. Sometimes the strongest moments in your life will feel like your weakest, this is what the song means to me. It was written at a time in a previous relationship where I felt lost. Even though I had tried my hardest to make things work, we didn’t know what wasn’t working, just that there was something that didn’t feel right. The lyrics explore the idea of giving up and allowing the other person in the relationship to determine what happens next as I didn’t want the responsibility, hence ‘Down to You’.

My favourite part of the song is the second verse; ‘Time is turning and change is hurting, i’ll go, but i’m nothing without you. Became a burden, don’t want to hurt you but now, I think that it’s time to’.

This highlights my vulnerability at the time. I thought that without him, I was worthless. Although this demonstrates how much I loved him, it also shows a deep sense of despair within myself, that I truly pinned all my happiness on him, which isn’t healthy. I felt like I was the one who was dragging him down, but I could never be the one to end it as I would never forgive myself for not trying.

‘Sunset Sky’ is the second song I released. I started to write the song whilst in a previous relationship. The original aim of the song was for him, to try and encapsulate my love and appreciation for him in a song. The meaning of the song inevitably changed when the relationship ended, changing the perspective of the lyrics. Although the song lyrics didn’t change, they had changed to me. The song then took a turn when I added another verse at the end of the song that altered the concept of the song completely.

‘So stay by my side, I want you to be my Sunset Sky’. This is the main chorus, revealing my love for him, stating that he is my sunset, a metaphor for beauty, tranquility and happiness. The last chorus is then…

‘So stay by my side, but amber colours fade into the night, Sunset Sky.’ The meaning of the metaphor is changed so simply in this last chorus. No matter how beautiful a sunset can be, they all come to an end- whether you want it to or not.

The Love of Your Life- Your Life.

Through numerous times of happiness, sadness, pride and joy, I have found myself claiming to have found things and people that I love. Recently, I have realised that, although I had discovered different types of love, I hadn’t yet uncovered what I now consider ‘True Love’.

I Love Love– I always have and due to my romanticised and perhaps ‘rose tinted’ perspective of love, it has caused my expectations to sometimes crumble. A way I have discovered if love is real is if linked to the phrase ‘If you love something let it go’. My interpretation of this doesn’t just explore the surface of missing someone and seeing if they come back to you, but the concept of everlasting love. Even though I have ‘let go’ of people I have claimed to love, I know I still love them now, months and sometimes years since we have been in a relationship of some kind (platonic or romantic). In my eyes, (excuse the dramatic comparison) letting someone go, whether a break up or moving away is a form of grief. If love is strong, it can actually guide you through some of the hardest times. People will tell you to treasure the good times and think of the happy memories- this is to remind you that the love is still there. A friend once told me that each type of love is different, this is important to know. Even within the same person, you can love parts of them differently. This is where it comes into letting someone go. For example, you are going through a break up. Initially and inevitably, you still love them, lust for them, are attracted to them and miss them. With time (a lot of it) and persistence , this love doesn’t fade, but transitions. This is what i love about love! Love is like energy, it cannot be created or destroyed. This is why self love is so important, you need love within yourself to accept love from others.

Self love, not superficial love. Personally, i’ve struggled to love myself, originally my image but this soon sank into my personality too. This was worse for me as you can alter and express image but you can’t change yourself. Or this is what I thought, however I now believe I was wrong. A lovely person in my life recently told me that I can change my personality. She reminded me that I am in control of my feelings, if I allow myself to be. It’s not an easy process, but as someone through mental illness has had to engulf themselves in the way they feel, I know that it’s in fact true. For example, if someone says something that upsets you, the fact is, they have said something. The way you react to it, gives their words the power, even though we do not realise, we determine the effect that words can have on us. Don’t get me wrong, people can say some nasty things, but it’s the love within us that should be able to reassure ourselves that what they have said is not a fact.

I can’t advise anyone on how they should or shouldn’t change but I want to allow people to know that they can. Life is all about change so why shouldn’t our individual lives be changed by ourselves too? This is where Love comes back in. I thought I was happy, as I found love, but I was immersing myself in someone else’s love for me. I was blinded by the attention, that I began to live in a fantasy and I separated my love life from practicality and reality. I loved to be loved. I loved this person, I know I did. I did not however love myself, just myself with him. Beyond this relationship, I have taught myself that I can be myself as Lou before ‘Lou and …’ or ‘… and Lou’. Also I have met knew people and things I love since loving myself and it is richer, more inclusive and I feel less vulnerable. It’s a love I can take with me wherever I want, but I don’t depend on it, because I know I have my self love with me no matter what happens.